1.12.2012

Nutella Theory

Deciding to get engaged is kind of like deciding to dive into a 30 ft deep pool of nutella.

Why on earth would I do that? I'm a terrible swimmer. What if I drown? There is no actual way that I can survive here. I mean look at me: Do I look nearly fit enough to tread nutella for more than 2 minutes? It'd be sticky and nasty and gooey and oily. I'm uncoordinated and people usually laugh when I dive. Plus I like to stay out of 30 ft deep pools. What if I get stuck? What exactly am I gaining here? I'm somewhat scared of the ocean. I don't want to get my hair dirty. This is never going to work.

But wait a second, it's nutella. I love nutella. I live for nutella. It's the perfect combination of everything that's fantastic. I could eat only nutella for the rest of my life and I would be perfectly happy. Plus it's thick and I'd be buoyant and I might not even need floaties. I'd much rather this pool be full of nutella than something else, like yogurt or peanut butter or caramel, or heaven forbid, cottage cheese. Nutella makes me happy. When I'm out of nutella I make a special trip to Macy's to buy another jar. I might get fat later, but you know what, who cares. Not me. Certainly not the nutella. Jumping in would be daring and exhilarating and a whole lot of fun. Imagine the memories. Imagine the pictures. People will be talking about this for a while. What a delicious adventure.

Interpret this as you may. 

But let's just say that I'm ecstatic for my nutella-filled future ;)

1 comment:

  1. Stop it! are you saying that you're talking marriage with Nard Dog?? please oh please oh PLE-HE-HE-HEASE say yes. :) And yes, being engaged is TOTALLY like swimming in nutella. Though being married is like.... having a never ending supply of nutella with you whenever you want.

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