10.28.2013

post-pregnancy stuff that i'm absurdly excited for.....

sleeping on my stomach rather than obnoxiously shifting from side to side a zillion times each night because comfort eludes me. stomach sleepers unite!

wearing all the cute fall sweaters that I've accumulated over the years that have been gathering dust in my closet because they reach only to my belly button right now.

for my feet to regain their slim boniness that I've missed. My mother-in-law took me to go get a pedicure last week and, though it felt amazing, I could hardly enjoy it because I hate these fat dimply piggies I call toes. Also I'd love to be able to fit into my shoes again.

for my body to finally kick this ridiculous cold that I've had for the past week. Not pregnancy related, but still. I'm looking forward to having clear nostrils again.

to be able to be on my feet for more than 20 minutes without having cramps, contractions, or charlie horses.

for people to stop looking at me with this face:

because my belly is so obviously huge and uncomfortable it basically hurts to look at me. 

maybe getting my pre-pregnancy body back? hopefully? I'm not sure how optimistic to be about getting all skinny again. I would like to admit openly that I spend way too much time checking out old pictures of myself and thinking, "for seriousness? I remember thinking I was fat when this picture was taken." maybe someday I'll have a healthy body image. Ha. But that day is definitely not today.

peeing the regular amount every day. I've forgotten how many times is normal. Twice? Last night alone I got out of bed 5 times to urinate.

for my fat fingers to slim down so my wedding ring will fit again. It hasn't fit since month 3.

to not feel like my body is being ripped apart from the inside. I mean I love him, but sometime when this boy kicks it's like he's trying to destroy me.... that might have to do with the fact that he's in the 95th percentile in size. Have I already mentioned that?

to be able to eat the following cravings that have plagued me since being diagnosed with gestational diabetes: a cinnamon roll, a wendy's frosty, french fries, hash browns, MILK, a purple slushie, hot chocolate, pumpkin pie, MILK, sourdough bread, kit kats, chocolate milk, milkshakes, MILK, corn bread, pancakes, ice cream, bananas, and last but not least, milk.

PREGNANCY THINGS I WILL MISS:

feeling baby kick

watching baby kick

watching/feeling baby hiccup

watching Andy watch/feel baby kick/hiccup

the excuse to lay around like a big lazy butt and do absolutely nothing for anyone but myself.

and that's it. 

If you were to ask me a few months ago what I enjoyed about being pregnant, my answer would probably include some happy fluffy nonsense about the magic of pregnancy and the incredible spirit growing inside me and all of these marvelous life lessons I've learned and how happy I am to be able to bring life into this fabulous world. But you ask a 9-month-full-term-overweight-mess-of-a-woman that question and I'm sorry but there are no words to describe how badly I want all of this to be over.

AND HOW BADLY I WANT TO MEET THIS CHUBBY BUHHHBBY BOYYY WHO HAS MY NOSE AND SO MUCH HAIR.







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