happy christmas

It's christmas and I'm celebrating with this mini family of mine and already it's dark outside and Rory's first christmas is almost over and no matter how hard I try I can't make time stop. 

So we took a short walk outside in the cold because I wanted to step back and take a deep breath of cold air and let Rory fall asleep on my chest while I talked to Andy about our life and our future and how it's all moving too fast. 

I was telling Andy about how much I hate that Rory is getting so big. His christmas jammies are size 3-6 months and he is only 6 weeks old. I took him to the pediatrician yesterday and he weighs 12 lbs 9 oz. He's a full 3 lbs over his birthweight. This is the smallest he will ever be ever ever again and that just breaks my heart. There is no possible way to adequately soak his newbornness   He's turned from a newborn into a bonafide smiling baby boy. There should be a rewind button. If there was I would just keep skipping back to revisit even the hardest memories when he was the smallest because even though I was trying my hardest to soak it all in there are too many moments that went by too fast. When your life is based on another's it's hard to let moments go because it's not just your own moments that pass quickly, it's also someone else's. 

But today was the absolute best and even though he was 100% oblivious I got to watch Rory enjoy his very first christmas. He was never put down- being passed from one relative to the next all day long. He was bombarded with presents from all of his loved ones from all over the country. And me, Rory and Andy got to be all together as a famdamily. I loved every quick passing minute of it. 

Merry Christmas everyone!

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