A portrait of Rory, once a week, every week in 2014.

Along with those wide open smiles, this kid is starting to babble. Each noise is so timid yet so deliberate. We have the best conversations.

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j dizzle

^^possibly the best photo bomb of all time

For Andy and I, Scrubs is one of those shows that we can turn on at any time and we just know that we will fully enjoy the rest of our night. Most of our conversations are filled with Scrubs quotes, to the point that if we are hanging out with anyone else we will probably drive them away because they'll have no clue what we're talking about. We are seriously annoying.


We love it.

We've watched every season three times since Rory was born.

And I have no other reason for writing this blog post except to profess my love for Scrubs. And to inform you all that Zach Braff is officially on my celebrity "to do" list (along with Marcus Mumford, Zach Condon, and Lee Pace).

What can I say? Guys with big noses just get to me.
(see Andy Vidmar)

And I am dope excited for Wish I Was Here to come out in September, because Garden State is one of my all time favorite movies. 

Yes I realize that this blog post is about a dated subject and could have been written 3 years ago. I guess I'm cheating because I didn't start watching Scrubs until I went to college and discovered the magical land of Netflix. Can I still consider myself a true fan? I say yeeeeesssss. 



A portrait of Rory, once a week, every week in 2014.

Looking up at his papa who is working hard on homework. This boy is all smiles lately. 

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Yesterday my baby got immunized.

Andy and I lay in bed talking last night, marveling at the fact that we didn't even have a discussion about whether or not he should get shots. Not one conversation. Why was that? When they are becoming so controversial? Shouldn't we have some gross opinion, one way or the other? In hindsight, if we had talked about it I probably would have decided to do the shots anyway, but maybe I would have been more mentally prepared.

When Rory was a newborn, obviously seeing him get prodded and poked in the hospital by all the nurses was difficult to watch. But somehow, this was a million times worse. It could be because I was by myself, doing this alone, like some kind of grown up (who, me?). But I think it was more because I know Rory now. I know how to calm him, how to feed him, how to care for him. He is this little person now and has become this huge part of me. Now that we've grown together I've become so attached, and it made it so much harder to watch him suffer.

He hasn't had any side effects yet. He's still super smiley (despite what you see in those pictures up there). Maybe he's a bit sleepier, but hey I'll take that. Mostly I've just been holding him extra tight as though he was the sickest baby in all the land, hoping that we didn't rush into anything stupid. In these crazy days, there are so many controversies and I feel so unaware and stupid about most of them. Should I pay more attention? Should I be invested in all that arguing and bickering? Maybe.

I don't know what point I'm trying to make here.

Rory got shots. And I just did not prepare myself at all. And I feel sort of guilty.


In other news:

At 2 months old, Rory is 13lbs 14 oz and 24 3/4 inches tall. 85th percentile in weight. 98th percentile in height. He has been graduated to size 2 diapers for a few weeks already, and is fitting into most of his 3-6 month clothes. FATTY! 


two months old

Rory James, 

Two months old already. However clichĂ© it may sound, my life is better than it's ever been and it's all because of YOU. Every single day I am excited to wake up just to be your mama. Lately, what with school starting and us moving to Rexburg I've had less time with you in my arms and for some reason I feel enormously guilty. Any time I have to set you down in your chair I'm regretting the time I miss with you on my lap. It's as though I'm skimping out on those crucial newborn moments and I'm so afraid to lose those forever, but I guess that just means that when I'm holding you I'm able to absorb it all that much more. 

We started reading to you in the last month, which is good because we have a crap load of books to work our way through thanks to the awesome baby shower Grandma Vidmar threw for you. There is one that especially grabs your attention called "100 first words", probably because it's huge and has a bunch of bright pictures. I love sitting on the floor reading to you while you're on my lap, pretending you actually are aware of what's going on. Mostly I am just entertaining myself with these cute books, but any moment that I can interact with you like that is a good one. 

Your hands are getting so grabby. You grab the collar of my shirt whenever I hold you. That has led to a couple of whoops moments in public, but I really just love that you are clinging to me. Your arms never ever stop moving. They are always flying around. You're starting to hit the swinging toys from your playmat- mostly just because your arms never quit. Speaking of that playmat, that mirror enchants you. You will smile and dance for yourself in that little mirror. I love it! Your fingernails got so long and grimy. I was too scared to cut them for a long time but I finally built up the courage and did it while you were asleep. Those tiny nails tear like paper! I didn't want to touch them!

You're able to sit up and support your neck pretty well. You still look drunk most of the time with your wobbly head trying its hardest to stay in one place, but now we can set you on our lap and you can look around all by yourself. Within the last week you've been able to support your own weight too! Your chunky little legs jump around when we have you stand on our lap. Your face always looks the skinniest when you're standing and it makes you look so grown up. 

Your face has a natural quizzical look. It's like you are always disapproving of whatever we're doing. But my word baby boy, you are the best best best smiler. You smiling with mouth wide open and your tongue lolling all around inside your mouth. You're especially smily right after eating. But my favorite is that you smile best for me and your dad. I love that you are starting to really recognize us. Your facial expressions kill me. You'll go from angry, to confused, to a gigantic open mouth smile, to quizzical in a matter of seconds. Those eyebrows man. They do good work. 

Your sleeping schedule has become a little more predictable. There were a few times that you slept through the night! (about 11pm to 6pm. I'm counting it!). You usually wake up once to eat and then you go right back to sleep, which I greatly appreciate. 

This month I started feeding you in public! There were a few times that I fed you in the cramped back seat of the car, and then once in the lobby of a church building- but the first time in public was in an extremely crowded cafĂ© surrounded by my sister in laws. There's a certain amount of pride that comes with feeding a baby in public, and yes. I was extremely proud of us. 

You were sick for a few days this month. You were coughing, had diarrhea, and you were extra fussy. I took you to the pediatrician, who said you were just getting over a bug because you were looking better. But the most memorable thing about that appointment?. You were almost 13 lbs. At 6 weeks old! We've already graduated you to size 2 diapers and you've outgrown most of your 0-3 month clothes. My giant baby boy! I can't believe how huge you are. 

Your different cries are making more sense to us now. Your dad loves that he is able to distinguish between a tired cry, a bored cry, and a hungry cry. It makes things so much easier. You get so mad when you're tired. Worse than when you're hungry or poopy. Sometimes you are almost inconsolable. I can relate to that. But we can't really figure out why you cry when you're tired rather than just going to sleep. Sometimes when you're falling asleep you'll peek at us with just one eye. And other times, your lids stay open but your eyes will roll back. It's creepy. And funny.

For the past few nights, your dad has watched you while I clean up the kitchen. When I came to check on you guys, you were propped up on pillows watching The Rescuers. Your eyes didn't leave the screen for about 10 minutes. You were so enchanted by it. It was so much fun to watch.

We went on our first road trip with you. From Spokane to Rexburg- a 7 hour drive that ended up taking us about 10. You were very good and you slept for a long while, but when you woke up it was hard to keep you happy. I ended up spending a lot of time in the back with you, holding up toys and making up stories about them (Mister Lancelot the Cowboy was your dad's favorite). We pulled over a few times to feed you. I even fed you in the middle of a Subway at a truck stop. We got a couple of stares there. All the Christmas chocolate we brought to snack on was gone quick because of my stress-eating.

Strangely, this month seemed to trickle by slowly. That may be because you wake me up in the morning so I don't spend half the day sleeping like I did when I was pregnant. It could be because I'm actually soaking in every waking moment I can. Either way, Rory James, my life is so satisfying and it's all thanks to you.

I love you buddy.



A portrait of Rory, once a week, every week in 2014.

That scratch by his eye because I'm too terrified to trim his ridiculously long nails. His crusty eyebrows from his cradle cap. His tight fists holding still for a rare second. His delicious eyelashes. The way he sucks in his bottom lip. The worlds softest double chin. His natural fohawk. Those dark blue eyes. I obsess over everything about this boy for hours and hours every day. It's the best job in the world.

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andy turns twenty four

Andy turned 24 on Tuesday. He really didn't want much. I'd already given him his present last week (a new gaming headset for his xbox. Is he turning 24 or 12? ha.) His only requests were to order our special bacon-pepperoni-tomato pizza from dominoes and to watch a movie together. I added breakfast in bed and a homemade cheesecake with candles to at least add some pizzaz to the day. I also rewrapped his gift and made him open it and feign surprise (and then I wrapped his energy drink he was saving for the next day and made him open that too). We really have mastered the low-key birthday. What we do is simple, but special enough that it makes for a great day. And if your birthday is at least a tinge better than the average day then I'd call it a success.



Secretly, one of the reasons that I was super excited to have a baby was so that I could do this 52 project because I always wanted the excuse to use my Canon camera to take a billion pictures of his pretty face. And then I got a new lens from Andy for Christmas and my excitement has now TRIPLED.

It's a portrait of my Rory James, once a week, every week in 2014.

Rory was the biggest trooper this week. He was so patient and sweet while we moved out of Andy's parents house, roadtripped down to Rexburg and got settled in. What an amazing babe.

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twenty thirteen's last party

Welcome to the most anticlimactic night of the year.

Last night we ordered pizza and played board games with Andy's family while fighting our heavy eyelids, waiting for NBC to rebroadcast the ball drop in Times Square just for our timezone. We were in bed by 12:30, watching Scrubs on Netflix and playing with our screened devices just like every other night.

Andy and I did get somewhat of a chance to discuss our hopes for the coming new year. Andy predicts that it will be our hardest yet and I think he might be right. Being a full-time student and sole breadwinner means very few hours at home for Andy, and I will be left alone to raise Rory while trying to manage my online classes and our household on an extremely limited budget. But I refuse to walk into this year already defeated. With some effort, this year will rock. I know it.

So last night at midnight I optimistically kissed my bearded husband on the mouth and my chubby baby on the cheek and pranced happily off to bed.

Bring it on 2014! We will destroy you!