3.30.2014

13/52

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A portrait of Rory, once a week, every week in 2014.

I promise we really did try to get to church today, but there were a whole lot of things going against us. Andy took a sick day and March decided to vomit a bunch of snow on our car and break the windshield wiper. I don't dare intrude on any of Rory's naps now that we're starting to make sense of his schedule and by the time he was up there was only an hour left.... I gave up. So now we're in our sweatpants watching a Harry Potter marathon on ABC with plans for brinner and lots of cuddling. I still say it's a successful Sunday. 

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3.25.2014

laundry day

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How this morning went down:

Rory wakes up soaked in pee. It's all over him, his sheets, and even soaks through my shirt when I pick him up. I felt absolutely terrible that he's been laying in his cold wet pee for who knows how long. I quickly change him out of his sticky wet pjs, give him a quick wipe down and put him in some fresh clothes.

I nurse him then I change my wet shirt and switch his sheets while he lays on my bed. I come back and he's rolled onto his tummy and spit up all over everything, but I ignore that mess for now and put him in his bouncy seat while I eat breakfast.

As I'm finishing my oatmeal I hear a big fart and sure enough he's blown through his diaper, through both his pants and shirt, and onto his bouncy chair. So here we go again, another quick wipe down and a new set of clothes.

At this point, Rory is ready for his early morning nap so I grab a clean blanket to wrap him in and as I go to lay him down, he burps loudly and spits up all over my clean shirt and his clean blanket. So I change my shirt again and grab him a new blanket, wrap him up, rock him to sleep, and lay him down.

I take the sheets off my bed, the fuzzy insert off of his bouncy chair, his wet pjs, his wet sheets, his soiled onesie, my 2 wet shirts, and his not so clean blanket, and throw them all in the wash. I put some clean sheets on my bed and crawl in to finish Rory's nap with him because are you kidding me Tuesday? 

Want to know the crazy thing? I love this. I'd take all this any day over leaving the house and going to work. You just try to tell me my life isn't a full time job. I get so much satisfaction pretending to be a responsible stay at home mom. And between all the laundry changes and pooped through clothes, Rory is beaming at me, just so stoked to see ME. And I'm the one who gets to sing him to sleep and give him a bath later (because ew) and that makes me feel like the luckiest lady in the world.

3.23.2014

12/52


A portrait of Rory, once a week, every week in 2014. 

Sleeeeep. That's what this week has been about. So much reading on sleep training, so many calls to my mom, so much fear and exhaustion. We moved Rory's crib out of our room. It was heart breaking for me. Suddenly he's no longer a newborn - he's this big kid who is old enough for his own bedroom. But we've become desperate. We set up his nursery with black-out curtains and a loud fan for ambient noise. Then today was the first time we finally let him just cry it out; after feeding him, changing him, rocking him for hours, trying and trying to get him to take a damn nap. He was exhausted. We finally laid him down and let him cry in his crib. Andy paced outside his bedroom with tears in his eyes. I left the apartment and paced outside with no shoes on while I called my mom, crying: are you sure he's not going to hate us? Is this really the best thing for him? It took 25 excruciating minutes but he fell asleep and took a big long two hour nap. And so here we are. Hopefully the beginning of the end of our miserable zombie life.

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3.16.2014

11/52


A portrait of Rory, once a week, every week in 2014. 

The weather is making fools of us all. We got our hopes up for spring and spent a few days outside. Rory has the weirdest expression when the wind hits his face. He puckers. It was nice to see the sun again, even if it was only 40 degrees. And it was the first time my November baby has every played outside.

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3.11.2014

4 months old



Rory James,

Stop it. You are not 4 months old. Are you kidding me? This has been the point that I've always been so excited for: when your personality is really developing and you become mobile! That's right you started rolling over this month! February 28th to be exact. I was shocked! For days and days you'd make it as far as your side, but that stubborn arm of yours was always in the way. And then suddenly I looked over and there you were, grunting on your stomach. I missed it! Immediately I pulled out my phone and took a video, and soon after I caught you doing it again, though this time you did a 360ยบ! All the way from your back to your front to your back again. Such a little overachiever. I think this is the most obvious developmental milestone you've reached so far, besides smiling of course.

Speaking of smiling, you've started to smile up at me while you nurse. When you do, all the milk in your mouth pours out and leaves a puddle on my pants but I don't care one bit. It's probably one of my favorite things you do lately. You're suddenly so distracted too. If I'm watching tv, you'll pop off and turn your head, watch for a few seconds, and then turn back and ravenously attack for more milk.

We've become absolute professionals at public breastfeeding, even with that nipple shield we still use (Sigh. If it ain't broke don't fix it, right? I just don't have the energy to wean you off of that thing, no matter how annoying it is.) I mean, we're so good that even on a cram packed disgustingly squished airplane when we're sitting not 4 inches away from some random dude, I'm able to whip it out and feed you discreetly. I mean, I'm very sure the dude noticed and was significantly uncomfortable, but you know what! We did it and I am so proud of us!

Your hair. Your poor balding head. You have a ring around your skull, just above your ears, that is basically bald from you turning your head back and forth and rubbing it on the floor. Your bald spot on the back of your head is magnificent. You can spot it a mile away. On the top of your head you still have some beautiful brown locks, but they are sparse. It breaks my heart. But your happy little personality makes up for your hair loss.

Your hands are always in your mouth. At first it was just your knuckles you would munch on, but you've developed a preference for your pointer finger. I used to try and pry your thumb out for you and stick it in your mouth but you wouldn't have it. Your pointer finger is by far your favorite to suck and munch on.

Sometimes when I hold you on my lap you'll stick your hands in my mouth. You'll grab my lips and cheeks with such interest! It hurts a bit but I don't mind because I think it's hilarious. You did it to your dad once and he was so surprised! He laughed and laughed. Every so often, you'll put your hands on each side of my face and go in for a kiss with your mouth wide open. Oh how I love that! I don't even know if you know that's what you're doing, but I don't care because those slobbery open mouthed baby kisses are probably the best thing in the world.

When I go to change your diaper, you will attack me and grab whatever is in your reach, whether it's my hair, my shirt, my face... Lately I've been handing you a clean diaper while I wipe you up and you'll hold it for me until I'm ready to use it.

The past few weeks have probably been the toughest since you've been born. We took a trip to DC to see my family, and whatever sleep schedule you had just burst into flames. You used to give us a solid 6 hour chunk every single night and now I honestly can't remember the last time you slept for more than 3. It's almost more exhausting than your newborn phase because both Andy and I have things to do during the day.

A week after we got back from our DC trip, you started teething. At least I think it was teething. Whatever it was, it made you cry and scream and lose hours and hours of whatever precious sleep you were getting. For a few days I just was so overwhelmed and had no clue what to do. I went crazy and called Andy home early from school at one point because I couldn't take your screaming anymore. Finally I stuck the tip of my finger in your mouth and rubbed your gums when I was trying to put you down for a nap and you started sucking on it and fell dead asleep within 15 seconds. After that, I've discovered that you enjoy sucking again! The binky is back in the picture, even though sometimes you just like to chew on it, it's nice to know that you like it.

While you were "teething", you refused to be set down for even a second. Poor boy, you were just so overtired neither of us knew what to do. It got to the point that I was completely dependent on Blue's Clue's to keep you entertained, and frozen washcloths to keep your mouth from hurting. You aren't coordinated enough to figure out how to handle your teething toys, so that frozen washcloth was a life saver. You ate every 2-3 hours around the clock. I'd be getting up 3-4 times a night trying to console you. Those were a rough couple of days. I'd be okay if I forgot them forever. Ha.

Because you've been eating so much in the last week or so I swear you've gained like two pounds. I can see the weight on you. It fills your cheeks and your wrists have become rounder and your socks squeeze your chubby ankles. I could nibble your fat cheeks all day long. They are so yummy.

So it's been weeks since you've slept well. A few days ago I broke down and bought Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child because one of my aunts swears by it. Already, I'm starting to figure out what we're doing right and what we're doing wrong. Your mornings are perfect. You wake up happy, and you start to get tired an hour later, which is just as it should be. I've also discovered that I need to put you down before you show signs of being tired and that has reduced your crying a whole lot. Ideally, you'd go to bed at 8pm and wake up at 8am, but right now when we try to put you down early you'll wake up at 11pm ready to play again. This whole sleep situation is so frustrating and I've really just about had it. Hopefully in the next few weeks we'll get it all sorted out. Right now, you're on hour 3 of your afternoon nap, which is a great sign! Go us!

Now don't get me wrong, that trip to DC was incredible. I don't regret a second of it. Obviously, it was so great to see my family and I feel like you and I came a long way too. I have so much more confidence in my mothering abilities, and even in the fact that I am a mother. I loved showing you off and seeing you interact with all of my loved ones. As exhausting as it was to travel with a 3 month old, I'm so glad we did it.

Buddy boy, this has been an insanely crazy month. So many great things and so many awful ones. But even through the toughest times I am so drawn to you. You are fun, wiggly, friendly, and just oh so love-able. You just make every single day so much better. I sure love being your mama!

See other 'letter to Rory' here

3.09.2014

10/52


A portrait of Rory, once a week, every week in 2014.

Oh this week. This week has been awful. We suspect teething, but doesn't that seems so early? Rory's sleeping schedule has been rocky, to say the least. And he's been eating every 2 hours around the clock as though he was a few weeks old. But the worst seems to be behind us. Our baby boy is happy yet again. I'm so relieved to see him smiling and interactive. Let's just start this new week fresh, okay?

See other portraits here. 

3.08.2014

survival mode

I have two favorite parts of the day lately. 

Favorite number one: 
Andy gets home with a big cold hug and a 44oz diet coke. Survival juice. 

Favorite number two:
At 10:30 every night, Andy rips my fussy child from my arms, sets me on the couch, turns on jimmy fallon and excuses himself to the bedroom where he does his best to put Rory to sleep. Hashtag thank goodness for Andy Vidmar. 

Every time I shower lately I think to myself "I really should shower more often." It feels so good, but I become schizophrenic and I hear phantom crying from Rory's crib 20 feet away from the shower, so I'm in and out in 3 mins flat. Don't even ask me when the last time I shaved my legs was. 

Imagine the worst possible post-partum body you can come up with. BAM. That's what I've got. Wrinkly stretchmarks cover me from boob to knee, and don't get me started on my jelly belly. I went to a spin class at the gym on Monday. It was perfect. All the cardio with the least amount of jiggling. I vowed to go every day this week. That was Monday. Tuesday was the beginning of the week from hell aka teething Rory. Mems how I'm always talking about my happy smiley perfect bouncing baby boy? Well he was gone and in his place was a rabid mongoose who fed every 2 hours around the clock and will. not. be. set. down. not. for. one. second. So my yummy body has been at the back of my mind for a change and I'm living in a too-big-easy-access-uniboob-sports-bra and I haven't changed my leggings in 3 days. It's nice. 

We gave Rory baby tylenol to help him sleep and it worked. and for some reason I feel guilty about it. I also feel guilty for setting him in front of the tv with a frozen washcloth to munch on, watching blues clues while I shove dishes into the dishwasher and get dinner on. He loves tv okay? It keeps him happy. And an hour strapped into his bouncy chair with Steve entertaining his face and my face will not kill anybody. Survival mode! Is it so weird that I can quote most of blue's clue's? Pretty sure Steve was my first crush. 

I cannot believe we made it through this week. It's been miserable. But I think it's over. This morning Rory was all smiles again, and at the moment he's even content enough to play on his play mat by himself. Maybe he'll even roll over for us again like he was doing constantly last week. Remember that!? Remember when that was all I had to worry about?

Sigh.

3.03.2014

rory travels: DC


Last week, Rory and I braved the skies and flew cross country to see/meet my family! My parents and 4 of my younger siblings live just south of DC and I hadn't seen any of them for months and months. Also, my big sister Becca came home from her 18-month LDS mission in Indiana, and so it was the first time that any of us saw her for a year and a half. What the what. She'd been gone for basically as long as Andy and I have been married. Craaaazy. There's that familiar feeling that you get when you see someone you really love for the first time in a long while. It's like she never left. Bec was my roommate for a year at BYU and we got super close. It was awesome to see that that closeness was still there.

So everyone met Rory for the first time! It was fabulous timing too, because he's just crossed that 3 month mark and so his little personality is developing rapidly. He was alllllllll smiles. He smiles with his whole body. I forget how wiggly he is until he meets new people and they're like "he just never quits moving!!".  How cute is it to watch your "macho" teenage brothers hold your baby boy and make goo goo noises? Too. Cute.

Okay, trip highlights:

Watching my cute dad and brothers play with Rory. Rory boy just did not know what to do with all that attention he got. Everywhere he went, a semi circle of fans would form around him! By the end of the week I think he was just so overwhelmed. But as a mama, wow it is great to just see people fawn over my baby. I agree. He IS the cutest.

We had a family dinner with a whole slew of relatives. Lemme tell you, you gather a bunch of Lamberts around a table stacked with cupcakes and brownies and it will be a swell time. Rory took a 3 hour nap downstairs and I don't know how on earth he slept through all that commotion. Lamberts are loud. It was so so great to be surrounded by my family again. Was it only two years ago that everyone still lived in Provo and we'd gather at my grandma's house for Sunday dinner every single week?

My mom, Becca, and I toured DC as best as we could with a 3-month old. We tackled the National Gallery of Art (though the modern end was being renovated. boo.) and The American History Museum. We ate at the most FANTASTIC places. Indian food, greek food, Max Brenner's chocolate cafe... I think my favorite was Cava Mezze Grill. It was like a hipster greek chipotle. We went twice and both times I got a falafel bowl with super greens, tzatziki, cucumbers, pickled onions, and tahini dressing. Accompanied by a giant diet coke. Can't get any better than that.



We went to a movie! With Rory! The Angelika Film Center in Virginia is so gorgeous and we loaded up with caramel popcorn and saw a matinee of Philomena. I never thought I'd be able to bring Rory to see a movie but he was so great! I could feed him, stand up and bounce him, lay him on a blanket, and you know, let him stare at the mighty big bright screen without bothering anybody because there were all of 5 people seeing a 2pm showing of an independent film on a Wednesday afternoon. And the movie! As Jimmy Fallon would say, "SO good. SO good."

Speaking of Jimmy, my mom and I stayed up late every single night watch Jimmy Fallon on his first week of the Tonight Show. Clap. Clap. Clap. I love him. My mom also had all the olympic figure skating recorded so we got to bond over those as well. When I lived at home, we'd stay up late watching Chopped and Biggest Loser and sometimes even Family Guy. I loved watching shows with my mama again.

My studly brother Josh had a basketball game. He's a sophomore starting Varsity and it's been years since I've seen him play. Wowowowow. He's got such a great shot. Shoulders all squared up to the basket and everything. I'm jealous. Rory was fascinated by what was going on. That gym was incredibly loud and the buzzer freaked him out every time, but he was almost overly excited at all the commotion.



I loved chatting with my siblings. They're all like two years older than I have them in my memory. Caleb is 18 and is a freaking senior in high school. He's a smarty pants. And a dork. He's got a good head on his shoulders. And Liza Loo is 13. When I see her I feel like I'm looking into a mirror and seeing myself like 10 years ago. Long and lanky and oh so cute. I keep telling her, this is the skinniest you will ever be! enjoy it! She's such a grown up.

My 9 year old sister Sabrina was obsessed with all things Rory and I mean obsessed. Once she sat and watched me feed him and just asked question after question.  Does it hurt? What does it taste like? Where does the milk come from? She probably held him more than anyone else, and was always insistent on helping me with his diaper changes. Already, Sabrina is a fantastic aunt.

Saying goodbye to mom at the airport. That shouldn't really be a highlight but it is. She is so helpful and loving and strong. I will always need someone strong to take care of me because I get frazzled so easily. It's usually Andy but my mom sure is an excellent substitute. Finagling through an airport with a whole lot of luggage and a baby was so overly stressful to me but she was just so solid I couldn't have done it with out her. This whole week with her was great. I love love love being with my mom.



And so does Rory boy. Obvi.

That was it. 7 short days. As far as I know I won't be seeing my family again until the end of summer. Bah. I can't wait until then.

3.02.2014

9/52

A portrait of Rory, once a week, every week in 2014. 

This boy! This big brave boy! He learned how to roll over this week. He'll swing his legs around and turn from his back to his stomach, though he has no idea how to turn from his stomach to his back so he'll grunt and whine until one of us flips him back over. I can't believe he's becoming mobile. Time is whizzing past my face and I don't realize it until we reach such a huge developmental milestone. I'm so proud of my baby!

See other portraits HERE.